A ministry that can help parents and families that have lost a child through miscarriage.
At any time that you need us, we are here to talk to or just to listen. We know and understand that the grief and separation you are experiencing
now are immense. Know, too, of Our Lord’s mercy and tenderness.
We have packets at the Parish Office for parishioners to have if they are in need of the support of the Hannah Ministry. Please stop in and pick one up.
Other Resources that you may want to check into are:
The Compassionate Friends
The mission of the Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive. The Norfolk, NE group meets the 2nd Thursday of each month at 7:00 pm at the Lifelong Learning Center at Northeast Community College. Jerry Nordeen is the Chapter Leader.
Remembering Our Children
An organization that encourages and promotes an environment in which families can participate in healthy grieving as they work toward acceptance or resolution after the loss of their child. (P.O. Box 83433 Lincoln, NE 68501)
This organization is dedicated to providing education on grief and loss for professionals and the families they serve. They provide educational offering and other material for caregivers and families. (7230 Maple St. Omaha, NE 68134)
How To Help Grieving Parents
DO say: “I’m so sorry for your loss.” (This is the simplest and most appreciated.) Listen to the parents talk of their loss.
Don’t say: “There must have been something wrong with the baby.” “There will be another baby.” “This is God’s way.” “It was God’s will.” “It was for the best.” “You should count your blessings.” “At least you have other children.” “It wasn’t a good time for another baby anyway.” “At least now you can take a trip, lose weight, have a drink, etc.” “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” “I guess this is nature’s way of taking care of things.”
(The berveaved parents will one day be able to see God at work, even though this loss, but the immediate aftermath is not usually the time to talk about it. They simply need time to grieve.)
DO drop off a meal, babysit other children, run an errand, sit and listen.
Don’t assume that it is only in the few days or weeks following a miscarriage that all of the above are needed. It may take weeks, months or even years, depending on one’s circumstance, to heal.
DO think about (and possibly commemorate) the milestone that will come up in the months to come: the due date, the anniversary of a loss, etc. These will be tough days for a grieving mother.
Don’t think, “They should be over it by now,” when they are expressing sadness a year later.
DO let them talk as much as they want or need to about their baby. Let them tell you what they named their child, or what occurred during the loss, and how they felt afterward. Offer a sympathetic ear as often as needed.
Don’t feel that you need to provide answers or “make them feel better”. Just let them talk.
DO be prepared for an honest answer to the casual question, “How are you?”
Don’t avoid them if they honestly answer that question
DO know that it might be hard for a bereaved mother to be around pregnant women and babies.
Don’t take it personally. Often, the grieving mom wants to be with friends and their babies, but is simply afraid of losing control and crying.
DO reassure her that tears are normal.
Don’t avoid her if she still cries months later
DO consider sharing your own story if you share the same pain.
Don’t say, “I know how you feel,” if you have not experienced the same kind of loss.
Don’t assume that people in this situation will listen to and absorb what you are telling them at first.
Don’t expect that people will show you the same compassion you are trying to share with them at first.
This takes time……….
My Lord, the baby is dead!
Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?
“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.
You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity. -- Mother M. Angelica